An MBA Mom's Survival Journey

Post-MBA: a real life challenge

2010-02-23T20:12:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged since April 09. I was surprised that my story inspired some of MBA mom and dads who commented on my blog. I am happy at least I can inspire others to pursue their dreams.

For people who pursue a full time MBA program, life can be divided into three parts: Pre-MBA, MBA, and Post-MBA. They are so different in the way of emotions, stability, incomes, confidence, career opportunities, networks, friends, etc. For me, it is a big change for each stage.

Here, I just want to say, if you think MBA school is challenging, then you only pass one test. A real life challenge is in post-MBA. How to adapt yourself to a new career, new network, new level of intelligent, new colleagues, new corporate culture, new career inspiration, new life schedule, new living environment, new surprised high living expense if you find a job near New York, or other expensive financial districts. During MBA at school, people are nice, and understanding, encouraging, inspiring because everyone there is learning. For Post-MBA, we enter the real world, where there are no interpersonal skill instructors, free professional coaches, open-mind professors, and understanding classmates. You are all alone out there, if it is a new job, new culture, you are alone! Alone! Alone! That is a big challenge to adapt yourself to the post-MBA life.

I strongly feel that I am so lonely since I depended heavily on Yale SOM's all necessary coaches, career helps, EQ instructors. Suddenly, I do not have those close to me and no free service available. I have to say that I was exciting, and then nervous, and then frustrated in the past months. However, I am learning from where I fall down. Now I feel more relaxed after 8 months experience.

So, keep up your spirit and be prepared for post-MBA.

Oh, my God, one year passed so fast!

2009-04-23T21:32:00.000-07:00

I just got chance to come to my blog and found that one year has passed since my last blog. What a surprise that time flies so fast! I guess many Yale MBA applicants read my blog and wonder what happened to me since the financial crisis. I feel that I should continue my blog and finish my survial story, so that more MBA mom can feel encouraged to continue at Bschool.

Just a quick brief what happened to me since last summer 2008. I did three months summer internship at GE Capital Corp, Energy Financial Services at Stamford. I drove from New Haven to Stamford everyday, three hours on the way since I had to leave my kids and parents in New Haven. It was an interesting and intense work experience in the private equity firm, a lot of due dilligence, modeling, and meetings. I worked long hours, sometimes to midnight and one night to 3AM, although I was not required to. But I learned a lot and felt excited about the company and the learning experience. I was in Debt Finance Group and particiated in a few debt deals. One $100 million USD deal I worked from the start to the end was approved. I was very excited about it since it was difficult to get deals approved within 3 months. I thought we could get the full time job offer as GE agreed to if we performed well. At that time, there was some signals about the financial crisis. You can tell how fast GE sensed about it and immediately freezed hiring. At the end, they only took 1 out of 7 non previoius GEs. In the past years, they always took almost everyone if managers recommended. I was frustrated as I received high recomendations from different groups. But they said it was nothing to do with performance, just a number game. That was August 2008, the worst crisis did not happen yet. I immediately feel pressured and started a full time job search from the fall. I still can remembered how disappointed I was after I did not get an offer. However, that turned out to be a good experience for me to learn more during my later job search.

Fewer companies came to campus for recruiting in the fall, but still a lot companies to me. While I was a little nervous, I was surprised that many of my classmates were not worried at all even no job offer from summer. There was only about 33% obtained the offer from summer. CDO worked very hard to bring companies, but many were just not interested in at all. Maybe because they are too young to worry and they are selective. I am very open as I have diversified background. I submited resumes for almost every on campus job. I noticed that almost same persons competed with me for every job and there were only about 40 companies conducted more than 50 or 60 job interviews on campus. Thanks for GE's working experience, which allowed me to pass by 98% first round interview screening. In Chinese, there is an old saying, "knowing your weakness and competitors' strengthes will make you win." I knew I have English language barrier compared with fluent native speakers. How can I make myself more competitive? I took a hard way that I decided to try all industries to practice my interview skills and sharpen my language. This was the only way I can do better.

I did more than 40 first rounds interviews on campus and more than 10 second round interviews on site within two months, more than anyone in my class. Sometimes, I had 4 round interviews on one day and had to skip class. Yale SOM Career center laughed at me that it seemed I live in the interview center as they saw me in the morning and I was the last one to leave in the afternoon. I formed a team to practice consulting cases, also practiced finance questions, marketing cases, and conducted company due dilligences. I took 4 classes only, and went home to play with two boys until 9pm, and then went back to school to look up the company information for interview until 2 or 3AM, almost same everyday. Preparing for different industries was extreamly time consuming. I did not know how I did this, but I did it. Fewer companies showed up after October financial collaps, and many companies canceled the second rounds and stopped hiring. I did not hear from a few second rounds where sometimes I was the only one from Yale. I hold my cellphone all the time and was afraid that I would miss some offer call. I was frustrated, but cannot afford to give it up.

When I was in class the day before thanksgiving, two days after my last interview with IBM, my phone was ringing with the number from New York. I knew it was a good one. I ran out of the class and took the call anyway. Ya...it is from IBM. An offer of IBM Finance. You could imagine how happy I was after taking so much effort. You cannot believe that I got my most favour job from my last interview out of mroe than 40s. That was crazy! There was no company coming to compus anymore after Thanksgiving. My husband later said he already gave it up and thought I would not find one. But the good thing about him is that he alwasy told me "I knew you will find a good one. I am confident in you." Family and friends gave me a lot of support during this time. Yale SOM's career center was very helpful and dedicated. Some people might find less usefulness from CDO if they do not know what they want or they are not open enough. My boss told me that I am the only direct hire this year at IBM Treasury in its headquarter. There are a few 5 or 6 MBAs hired for the finance rotational program at IBM. I still do not know why they picked me among many top MBA candidates. Who cares why!

I was famous about working too hard in my class, but my story did encourage others that hard working will pay off. Some people might be lucky and take easy path. But that is not me. I alwasy know that dedication is the only way I can achieve my dream. As for this week, my class have about 30% still looking for jobs. I feel so much blessed under the current economic environment.

So, within a month, I will start my new job as Financial Analyst in the foreign exchange hedging group within the IBM Treasury department in New York. It is a new job to me and I am excited to start a new life soon with my two growing up boys.

Time flies so fast. So many things happened in the world, in school and in my personl life. My MBA boy already speaks and walks everywhere and fights with his elder brother. He almost 1.5 years old now. I guess by now, I could say I almost survive my MBA journey. But not yet, still one month to go, especially I am taking six classes that keeps me so busy each day. I really feel so many good classes at Yale that I might not have chance to take after graduate. I will talk about this in my later blog.

Cut my long hair for career

2008-05-30T23:03:00.001-07:00

I finally cut my many years' long hair for my summer intern, because that makes me look more professional and short hair is low maintenance. People told me that the length of the hair should be opposite to the age. Maybe that is not true. But I do feel that the short hair is very convenient when you have kids and need wake up early on the run. Here is my new look with short hair. My son is with me.

I did some career suits shopping last weekend. For my new career, I really cannot wear casual fashion shirts to work. Looking at my closet, I have nothing to wear for my summer except for one black interview suit. "Dress for success" is true. At least, I should follow the rule.

I didn't get any rest between my finals and summer intern. I wanted to quit the CFA exam next weekend, since I only have one week to go over everything. My mom said "You should at least try because you paid so much fee for it." She is still treating me as a little high school girl!To avoid her long face, I just had to go to school to study in the past week.

Luckily, I found that many courses I took in the last year are very helpful for CFA level 1, but so many materials are still hard to remember within a week. From the day after tomorrow, I will need to commute 3 hours a day to work at Stamford from New Haven. I won't have too much time for CFA. Hopefully this weekend, I can get some study done, maybe a mock exam. I feel that I have 50% chance to pass. If I do pass, the award should go to my mother. If not, it is fine at least I have tried like my mom said.

The other photo is my son with my classmate who will work for BCG. These photos were taken during this year's graduation commencement last week. Time is fast. Can you imagine that we will graduate next year this time? At least, we have something to look forward to. Keep up your good work. You will be there with me, and my two sons!

What a busy year at MBA!

2008-04-25T07:08:00.000-07:00

Finally, on May 13, I finished all the final exams and completed my first year of MBA as a mom with a new born. Of cause, my son is not newborn anymore. He is 6-months!

I survived! The first thing I want to tell every pregnant first year MBA that you can survive like me if you can predict what you will experience and be ready for it. I am proud of myself that not only I survived, but also I did more things. I took 11 courses in the last two quaters (4 months) compared with 7 or 9 for regular students.

While I was taking 6 courses during the last spring quater, I were elected as co-leaders for three MBA student clubs: Women in Management, Greater China Club, and International Student Club. I have organized a few school wide social events, Golf in Business Workshop, Farewell Receiption for women, international mentorship program, and Year End China Night. No matter how busy I was, I tried to play with my son at least one or two hours per day when I got home. He is adorable. I just cannot get him off my hand.

There were 60 MBA students attended the Year End China Night event with all the food cooked by my father and I. See photo. The food was Yammy! So you know that I love cooking, not only Chinese food, american food and other types of food.

On the last day of the exam, I thought I can take a break, but China earthquake put me on a running train! Why, because I founded a charity foundation Angel Pray Child Charity Foundation in 2005 to help children. Helping people suffered in a natural disaster is within my mission. I was surprised that many donors and volunteers just called me about donations. Since I am the president, I have to decide what to help and how. It is not a easy job to do the charity thing, especially lead a team of part time volunteers. We are all driven by the same vision and passion.

I will start my Intern at GE Energy Finance Services one week later, and I have to study for Level 1 CFA within two weeks. I almost give up my CFA because I hardly find time for it, especially i am organizing a team effort for China earthquake relif at this time. My team raised $54,000 USD within 8 days for the earthquake. We could rebuild a school with these donation. Please donate if you can, click Angel Pray Child Charity Foundation to donate online if you trust me to 100% use the fund to people.

I do not want to stress you with how much I have done and how much I am doing. I cannot deny that I am tired and somehow exhausted, but the situation just keeps me running forward. Anyway, it is a great year that I achieved many things with God's blessing.

My survival story- MBA Baby is here!

2008-03-30T16:34:00.000-07:00

I felt bad that I didn't write my story continuously in the past months. Maybe my blog guests thought I disappeared or could not survive. Here I am. I was too busy with the first semester's core course schedules, career events, school activities, and my newborn. Forgive me if I didn't update you on my story, for the ones who blessed for me.

Let me quickly tell you my experience. After the orientation, I was still energetic and never missed any class and assignment. I stayed up till 1AM to 2AM almost every night to do the homework and readings. With the early class at 8:15AM, I didn't get much sleep. In the late October, my belly was huge like I had a twin. I walked like a penguin in the school and many classmates stopped me to say hi. They wondered why I was still there because it seemed to everyone that I would give birth any minute. I felt very difficult to stay awake even in the morning class. But my classmates were very encouraged and I tried to overcome all the difficulties.

While juggling among my course works and group assignments, I tried to catch up the career events and resume preparation. I attended every bank event and financial presentation. Most banking and financial job submission deadline were close to my due day. I told myself that if I did not prepare my resume, I would end up no job. I worked very hard to prepare my cover letter and resume. After more than 30 drafts, I was able to submit the job applications for the ones I like. So you can imagine how busy I was.

I was lucky that my son came on time at the weekend before Thanksgiving. I didn't plan to take any day off after Thanksgiving, and I didn't plan to defer my four final exams that was three weeks after I gave birth. It was tough and not realistic. I talked to my doctor that I wanted to be induced if my son did not come on time. My doctor told me that I could not arrange everything perfectly including the child birth. I had to be patient. Since my due day was on Saturday, I tried to do the next week assignment in advance. My water broke at 3AM. The second day Friday, I was in the hospital and my son arrived on 11:30PM on 11/16. Everything happened as I expected. God Bless me.

My labor procedure was no pain and fast. I was not sure why it was so smooth. My OB doctor was very good and gentle. At the moment my son was out in front of me, he opened his black big eyes and stared at me. What a beautiful angel! I could not say anything and I was so happy and released. I worried about his health since I was under so much stress and didn't ever get enough sleep. My son Christopher was very healthy and cute. Here is his 100 day photo.

I only missed two days classes while I was in hospital. After that it was Thanksgiving. I returned to the class 6 days after giving birth and did all four final exams three weeks later and got proficient for all the courses. I was glad that I finally survived the toughest semester with pregnancy and newborn.

Of course, hard work is paid off. I received several job offers in January and February at the beginning of this semester. Now I decided to go to GE Energy Finance Services, a private equity subsidiary of GE for the summer as an associate. As a career transfer without any finance experience, a foreigner from non-English speaking country, and a pregnant woman during the school, I was glad that I could achieve my goal of survival and career changing. I am grateful for my family and my parents who gave me great support. I appreciate Yale SOM gave me so much encouragement and support. I just want to give women students more encouragement. Nothing is impossible if you have passion and hold the discipline.

My baby's first bib and T-shirt from Yale SOM

2007-09-28T18:24:00.000-07:00

The director of the Yale SOM hold a baby shower for me at her house this afternoon. The dean of Yale SOM prepared a special gift for my baby, a baby bib with Yale SOM print. It is so funny. I also received my son's first Yale T-shirt from a friend. There are great memories.

Here are the photos, enjoy.

Here are thanks notes from my unborn baby:

Thank You From Baby

I'm really glad that you could surprise my mother today.

I know I made her tired by carrying me to all the classes and events.

Thanks for waiving my tuition at Yale.

I have been enjoying my early education at Yale SOM,

But it is too early for me to decide my career in 2030.

Though I'm not here to thank you for the special gift you brought

My family and I are grateful...

We appreciate the thought.

I'll be arriving shortly

and I will visit you at Yale SOM!

I want to say that

I do love my first bib and T-shirt!

Love,Baby

The first month went so fast

2007-09-27T22:00:00.000-07:00

What a hectic week I have for this week! 7 homework due before Friday including 4 writings, 2 accountings, 1 probability, and 22 corporation events. Plus we are having 7 core courses lectures at the same time within 12 weeks. Each course has one or two lectures each week and homework. It is the first time I make the best use of Outlook calendar and try to fill up every space each day from morning 8:15AM to midnight. Of cause, I do not mean that we do not have any personal free time. But if you want to get the best out of each day and from what the school is providing, if you want to find a good internship job and full time job, then you make yourself busy and try to show up at each valuable event.

Since I am lack of sleep, I often woke up 15 minutes before the class, and drive to school although it is only 15 minutes walk and 3 minutes drive. In the past month, I went to bed after 1AM. Sometimes, 3 to 4 AM if I cannot finish the homework. Many classmates look so tired this week. Me, worse case with 32 week pregnant. I feel so bad for my boy but I cannot help. The only wish I have now is that I can have one day sleep without worrying homework. Maybe I will need wait until the winter break.

Even I am so tired, I still went to almost all banking presentations at lunch and evening time. I also enrolled the communication workshop, and went to one-to-one writing and oral English coaching sections whenever my calendar showed some space. I think it is the most valuable education I can get from Yale SOM. It is free and coached by a few professional language experts. The communication skills and language skills are my weakness. I got back my 50 pages analysis report about my English skills. I am so surprised that the report provides me so many details about each component of my language. I feel lumbersome in my career if I cannot improve these skills. I also tried to go to the club events, leadership speeches, and case interview workshop. Sometimes, I felt so hard to keep my eyes open during the meeting, but I thought as long as I sit there and hear something, I will learn something new. I am so eager to learn more new things in business and finance industry from my two-year MBA. From the past month, I am opened to so many new things, concepts, and new opportunities, which excited me. I cannot imagine what the other school like. But I feel that I chose the right school for my MBA.

Tomorrow, the director of Yale SOM will give a baby shower for me and the other student at her house. The faculties and schools are so helpful and support for my pregnancy. I am trying my best. I feel that the efficiency is so important now. As I am approaching the late pregnancy period, I need priority my tasks and try to get more sleep.

Oh, time goes fast. 2AM already. I need go to bed.

Tommorrow is the other busy day!

A day on the high heel shoe at New York

2007-08-25T19:32:00.000-07:00

As a tradition, the full MBA class will go to New York Yale Club and NYSE trading desk for one day during the orientation. Our class went to New York on Thursday. Almost everyone was wearing black suits. Although I am pregnant for 7 months, I was not different. I got a set of the maternity suit from A Pea in the Pod store, a special store for maternity fashion. The suit does not fit that well, but I cannot find anything else better in other stores such as motherhood, mini maternity etc. I was also wearing a pair of the black shoe with middle high heel. I should have brought a pair of the casual shoe with me. I stood on this high heel from 8:00AM to 11:30PM all day. Most of the network talking need standing. Plus we need walk a lot. What a torture! The other classmates even took the shoe off at the end of the day and walked with the naked feet. I didn't took off my shoe, I held on until I got back to New Haven at midnight. I suggested that if you are coming next year and not used to high heel, bring a pair of flat shoe with you to New York trip.

We have had a very nice lunch at Yale Club, which is in front of Grand Central Station at New York. I never like chicken. Almost all the meat provided during the orientation were chicken. But I want to say that our lunch, the chicken dish at Yale Club, is well prepared with great taste and the desert was very good. After the lunch, we were given a speech by an exceptional woman leader, a member of SOM class of 1986. I was inspired by her speech.

We had a few choices for the company visiting. I chose Merrill Lynch because I want to change my career from engineering to finance. I knew it is quit difficult, specially I will miss a lot of career events at the first semester due to pregnancy. I have to sacrifice this for my unborn baby. But I still want to try. It was a brief visiting at Merrill Lynch. A few alumni gave us a formal presentation followed by an question/answer section about recruiting and career at Yale SOM. When I asked one of them is it possible for me to interview for the investment banking job. He said he will first ask me if I fall sleep in the class because it is tired with pregnancy and heavy class work. Everyone laughed. I won't feel surprised by the people's response. And I know it looks difficult for me to find a good finance internship because I will give a birth right before the banking interview week. But I do not want to give up. I already take the challenge to be here with the rest of the class. I won't mind to take more challenge in the rest two years. I only can say, I will try my best.

At NYSE trading desk, we have had a lot of networking chat with the classmates. The market was closed by the time we went there. No one was there except for the reception servers. So many screens around made me imagine how busy it is in the day as shown in the movies. Maybe this is the first time and will be the last time I will be in this trading desk. So I took a photo there. It will be a good memory.

New York trip is definitely a good memory for my Yale SOM experience.

My unborn boy's first MBA practice

2007-08-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the first day for the MBA orientation. After the Dean of Yale SOM's speech, we were divided into three cohorts: Silver, Blue and Green and escorted in the different rooms to listen to the famous speech of "I had a dream" by Dr. Martin Luther King. I was inspired and touched by Dr. King's speech, and I felt that my boy was also actively responded to the louder applause from the speaker and he frequently kicked inside me. This was the first speech for my unborn boy. I guess he was touched by the speech also. Wow, I felt that I took advantage of the Yale by paying one expensive tuition for two persons-my boy and I.

The afternoon section was long and tired. Yale SOM is partnering with Strozzi Institute to introduce the martial art and leadership practices and concepts. 4 hours martial art practices were not easy and not fun for many others, special for me, a 6-month pregnant student. Frequently sat down and stood up, practiced with a wooden stick for fighting and no break at all. I was exhausted at the end of the day. But I was glad that I did everything same with the others and I made to the end of the day. (I should mention that the second day today, I felt that all these martial art practices start to make sense and I do enjoy more).

We had a wonderful picnic at the Lighthouse Point Park, where there is a beautiful beach and a light house. Many students brought their families and kids. I have had a fun there with my new classmates. It is so difficult to remember the names and countries for the classmates on the first day.

This was the first day of my MBA journey and I want to write it down for my memory.

Finally settle down at Yale

2007-08-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

It has been a while that I didn't write any new post. I have been busy with the final week work transferring, home cleaning, moving packing, and all the other leaving arrangements. It was a release to get off work. But I immediately entered a new phase of the busy life. I didn't plan to sell the house at this bad housing time, but I didn't plan to move back to my old house in the future also. I packed all of my stuff and baby stuff for a permanent leave. It was a lot of work to do these moving arrangements. Finally I moved last Friday and got my apartment ready at Yale today. I was exhausted last night by long hours driving and unpacking. I am 6 month pregnancy now and my big belly pretty much shows off. I cannot hide it any more with any fancy clothing. I am stressed but excited to see how this Mom MBA goes.

I have a meeting with the director of SOM academic department tomorrow. I think I will need show my confidence that I can handle the school and pregnancy at Yale. I also need to have some confirmation support from the school. I cannot do it alone. At least, I might miss a few classes or defer some final exams. But I do not want to discuss this too much now since no one can estimate what will happen. I just want to let the school knows that I am ready for school, I am aware of the situation, and I will try my best.

Tomorrow is the other day and a new day!

Finally fired my boss! -:) Office politics

2007-07-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

What I mean is that I finally quit my job for my school. The feeling is good and it seems that I fire my boss with release. 5 years! I have been worked for this group for 5 years, which is my first job in America. If not because the damn green card sponsorship, I won't tolerant the unfairness, crazy long hours with no overpay, and extremely entry level salary for that long. As many people know it is harder and harder to get US residence these days. It might be easier to come than to stay. Even I am the only women engineer among 8-10 hardheaded engineering men in the group, nobody even cares that I have been pregnant for 5 months. They kept pushing me to my edge with crazy busy work each week, and no any appreciation.

When I gave the resign letter to my boss yesterday, and gave the reasons that I want to take break for my pregnancy, he was surprised " Oh, it is already 5 months! I don't know that long already. Are you sure you quit is for pregnancy not for xxx?" xxx means unfair treatment I have had these months. He never thought I will leave with pregnancy because he thought I need money for my school next year (he thought I defer one year). Like many others say, do not damage the relationship and burn the bridge. I smiled and said: "No no, I do not blame anyone. I think it has been a great experience to work with you for 5 years. I just think it is time for me to take a break." He felt a little guilty and said: " You know, I like you a lot, just sometimes, for my position, I have to do something I do not want to." We all know what that means. I said (smiled all the time) " it is fine. I understand. " Then I left his office. At that moment, I felt so released.

For women in engineering world, a men's world, I can say that it is tough to play office politics and it is hard to play well, specially if you do not have a good English skill in US. I know I was a bad game player for office politics. I was negative and wanted to hide from it. I thought as long as I have good working skills and do my job well, it would be fine. It turned out that it was not true! I learned a lesson from this job.

I never want to be a superwoman, and I just want some respect and fairness. At this exit point, I realize that only good technique won't save you from complicated office politics, and it cannot guarantee your promotion and your career path. You really need involve, observe, and also play well to stand for yourself. After all, I still value this 5 year experience as a positive one although I experienced a lot of unhappiness and unfairness. Stop complaining and start to learn! This is what I tell myself now. B-School is also a small society, and everyone needs play well for relationships. It is not too late to learn how to play well.

I find a good article from online yesterday http://jobcircle.com/career/coach/jf_2003_04.html

"Office politics is just like the lottery. Dreaming about winning doesn't get you anywhere - there's no payoff if you don't buy a ticket. You have to play if you want to win. -- Jamie Fabian "

Do you have low self-esteem sometimes?

2007-07-03T13:31:00.000-07:00

I never thought about this question myself. But when the school is coming, and I am entering the third trimester of pregnancy, I felt nervous all the time. From time to time, I dreamed that I failed the class or I felt lost in the school. I do know why I suddenly become so worried. My husband told me that the reason I felt nervous all the time is because I have low self-esteem sometimes. I agree with it although I am not clearly aware of this. I tried to analyze this emotion by searching some psych tips from online.

Today, I search the web using key word of self-esteem. I found that even some successful people like businessmen, lawyers and doctors have low self-esteem and suffer depression. Do you find yourself sometimes suffering from low self-esteem also?

Characteristics of Genuinely Low Self Esteem (from online)
1. Social withdrawal
2. Anxiety and emotional turmoil
3. Lack of social skills and self confidence. Depression and/or bouts of sadness
4. Less social conformity
5. Eating disorders
6. Inability to accept compliments
7. An Inability to see yourself 'squarely' - to be fair to yourself
8. Accentuating the negative
9. Exaggerated concern over what they imagine other people think
10. Self neglect
11. Treating yourself badly but NOT other people
12. Worrying whether you have treated others badly
13. Reluctance to take on challenges
14. Reluctance to trust your own opinion
15. Expect little out of life for yourself

I know someone might think I am crazy and worried too much. Some people think it will be easier than I thought and I should feel relaxed. This really depends on a person's personality. Maybe because I want to be a good mother badly and at the same time I also want to do my best in school or at least survive from the hectic B-School first term's events and courses. Since I realize this emotion is harmful to my way to the school and to my current life, I feel that I need boost my self-esteem and raise my confidence before I start my B-school Journey.

Here is I found out from online: 7 ways to boost you self-esteem quickly:

Think back to when you did something new for the first time.
Do something you have been putting off.
Do something you are good at.
Stop thinking about yourself!
Get seriously relaxed.
Remember all the things you have achieved.
Remember that you could be wrong!

I wish this can be helpful and I wish I can feel better in July 4th.

Happy to everyone! Thanks for all the encouragements.

MBA Survival Pre-kit

2007-06-21T13:19:00.000-07:00

I am trying to prepare my survival kit. For example, doing things earlier than later. I am trying to fill all the forms required before enrollment and do other things such as setting up email, sending out physical exam forms, initializing my background check, checking what did the previous class do during their time at school, etc. Now it seems everything is ready except the background verification completion. I felt much relaxed now.

I spent sometime to browse the previous classmates' blogs. Thanks God, some of them wrote so details for the first semester at Yale SOM starting from the first day to the final exam, and through out two years of MBA. I obtained so much useful information and guidance from these blogs. I figure out that SOM has similar summer assignment for each class :

Sam Walton’s autobiography Made in America; (ii) Roger Lowenstein’s biography of Warren Buffett, Buffett; (iii) Gandhi’s autobiography An Autobiography; The Story of My Experiments with Truth.

I went to the township library and found all three of them. Wow, I never in my life read an English story book, although I like reading and read a lot in Chinese. Still English is not my official language and I am still not used to read in English although I always try. But this time, I got to try harder, force my mind to read English for fun, not only for academic. I found a way to finish assignment: I also borrowed sound records for these books, so that I can listen to the tapes while I drive to work each day. That works! Now I am listening Warren Buffett's way when I am driving, and feel interesting. At least, it can train my listening English. I am not sure I can finish three books in summer. Each night, when I get home, I told myself, ok, let me start to read, but then I quickly found excuses to shift the target to TV friends or Cooking Book. Oh..maybe I will start to read this weekend then.

I have bought basic accounting book for the class. I thought I can pre- study for it. Who knows how many pages I will read before school. I just want to relax after work each day. Relax, ya, right, I need time to relax before I go to school.

Today, I received an email to inform me that my apartment in Yale will be ready in July 15th. I figure I will waste one month rent since I won't be able to move up after August 3rd, my scheduled last day of work. I cannot help since all the other 2 bed room apartments on campus starting from August are gone by the time I visited. I have to take this one. It is good to have place whenever I can move in August.

There is one thing I am wondering: what did other classmates wear during their orientation and visit to New York Stock Exchange floor, business suit or casual clothes? After I spent some nice money to two business suits for the school, I found I was pregnant. And my new suits are size 2, the smallest size they can make, which definitely cannot suit me during my three and forth trimester of pregnancy. I figure that I need get a pregnant special business suit. At least, I still want to be professional and I wish I can be treated as usual in a professional way in school other than a pregnant woman. I do not want my study group consider me as a burden also. Maybe this weekend, I need go to shop for the suits.

2 more month to school starts, 4 weeks to give resign notice, 6 weeks to work.

Oh, I am excited to know what I am carrying now, a baby boy or a baby girl. I will know this on July 2nd if I am lucky during my 20 weeks ultrasound check up. I already have a cute boy, and I prefer a girl this time.

I am a little scared before the B school Starts

2007-06-14T14:17:00.000-07:00

A lot of things to do before enrollment in Yale. Processing the loan with the Financial officers, taking physical exam and filling the health form, finding the apartment and signing the lease, Processing the background verification, and packing the moving box, etc. I am exhausted each day after work, and still have to catch up those things. Too much stress recently, I didn't gain enough weight I should by now. I have been pregnant for 17 weeks, normally gaining 5-10 lbs, but I gain nothing. I didn't have much appetite due to the stress. I consider to quit the job earlier to have a break myself.

I have bought the Basic Accounting book and Eco book. I thought I can start to read early to prepare myself. So far, I only read a few pages.

I found a SOM's alumnus's blog, which is so detail about the life in Yale since the application process to the graduation. I read it every day from his application process. Today, I read to the October 2005, the month of his first midterm in Yale. I got scared by his post. Here is some quote from http://flatpointmba.blogspot.com/2005_10_01_archive.html

---First week of school :"My classmates and I are inundated with work. Three SEM assignments and two Accounting assignments are due this week. At the beginning of next week our first Finance, Econ, and Stats assignments come due - and they're pretty substantial. The reading, review sessions, study group meetings (we've already met twice and will meet two more times before the week is up), and career events have taken up 16 hours of every day since Sunday. And it shows no signs of letting up."

---For midterm: "It's a tremendous relief to be done with midterms/finals. During that week, I got 1 hour of sleep on Sunday and Monday nights; and three hours on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. A little cold at the beginning of week turned into a terrible one by the end of it. With so little sleep and so much caffeine, my body didn't stand a chance in fighting off the illness. I managed to sleep a lot over the weekend though and am now as good as new."

"A classmate of mine, for instance, told a story about how she walked home one day crying hysterically. "

I read and I felt almost freeking out. Oh MY GOD! A single man in his 20s or early 30s even felt tough for the first term. How can I pass it with late pregnancy and labor deliver in the middle. I do not want to be one of three to five who fails each year. And I definitely want to survive. I mean I never have problem in academic before, but I can stay late, no sleep and work hard. But this time, I cannot say "oh, I will work hard", because I have a new baby need rest. I cannot stay overnight even I can. I do not want my new born has any problem. The maximum I need get 5-6 hours sleep each day I wish. I wish professor and school can have more flexible arrangement for a pregnant student. I do not know until I really go there. But I do feel headache when I read those. I didn't even read to November and Final in December yet. Anyway, I have no choice. I have arrange to go, then I will need face it and try my best..that is all I can say now.

God bless me, my study and my new baby!

I am going for MBA with pregnancy

2007-06-04T14:15:00.001-07:00

It has been a long time that I didn't have time to come to my blogger. I like to clear a few things before I start a new page. A few months ago, I did decide not to go to interview for Chicago. But at the last minute, my best friend criticized me and pushed me to at least just give it a try. I did go to interview for Chicago and met a good friend there. Of cause, I didn't get accepted. I appreciated the trip to the University of Chicago, where I did see a modern school of MBA and a lot of difference than other schools I have visited.

What has happened during these months since my last post? You cannot believe me. I got pregnant accidentally just when I decided to go to Yale MBA and dropped the CMU $40,000 Scholarship. I already told my boss I will leave this year. I was not ready for this sudden pregnancy. What should I do? Should I go for it or defer one year? I contacted school and friends, talked to existing YALE SOM students, posted on BusinessWeek for suggestion. My family were strongly against me to go this year as well as all the others except my best friend, the one who persuaded me to interview at University of Chicago. I did request the deferring, and it was approved. But then my best friend accused me again. We are similar type. At the end, she successfully persuaded me to go for this year with pregnancy due to my worse office situation. I did feel that I rather try harder to get through the roughest first term than endure office suffering. Now here I am, one of the class of 2009 at Yale SOM. I am not sure whether I can make it, but I have to make it, and no other choice.

I want to thanks all the people whoever give me suggestions and help through online. I know some students did give birth before the school start, or have baby at the second year. But I didn't hear any case that a student had baby in the middle of the first term, the most intensive term during full time MBA among top 20 schools. Maybe there is someone there I do not know. But I tell myself that you have to make it work. And here we go.

I have started the enrollment process a few weeks ago. Luckily my parents will come to help me in October before my due day. My husband will not be able to move up with me due to his work, but it is fine. I have locked a two bedroom apartment in Yale Campus and started to pack my things and baby stuff. I think I will still work until the week before the school starts. I am facing a huge financial debt for this MBA, but I wish it is worth for my future. I keep pray God to bless me and my new baby. I also pray for all the new students who will enroll this year, and for the one who will try next year.

God bless us.

A decision of Withdrawal from Kellogg and Chicago

2007-02-09T13:36:00.000-08:00

After a long talk and thinking, I decided to cancel the trip to Chicago for on-campus interview and visiting Kellogg for my waitlist. The reason is simple. I do not want to take any risk to break my family due to long distance issue. At the same time of pursing my own dream, I will also need consider the family members and compromise at certain level. Without family's support, I cannot be here today.

By the way, top school is just an entrance for a new future. Future still depends on individual's efforts. I will have no regret to withdraw my possible chance from Kellogg and Chicago GSB if I can keep family a complete peace. For me, Yale might be good enough to lead me to that door for my situation (3.5 hours driving is not too bad). Still a lot of hard work is behind, but I will be happy to go there and begin my MBA journey if I do not hear anything from MIT and Wharton.

After cancel the trip, I felt much released. Now I know less choices are better.

A confusion for old age with multiple choices

2007-02-08T13:20:00.000-08:00

Two months ago, I was anxious about not hearing any admission until Yale and CMU coming on the same day of 12/20/2006. After happiness for a few weeks, I fell into a confusion of school choices. After drop NYU's acceptance, still hold on Kellogg waitlist, Wharton EMBA's decision, and Chicago R2 invitation, the school choice becomes a hot topic in my house, which even caused argument between me and my family.

Newton said "I can predict science, but I cannot predict human's crazy", I just read this sentence today on a stock article and like to use here. I can predict the acceptance of schools, but I cannot predict different emotion from my family, my husband, my in-laws and my parents and siblings. They all have different ideas about where I should go. Those conflicts are spouse's responsibility, long distance relationship, child care issue, Asian family's proud and my career vision. I cannot ignore any of them and be myself. After you are married, you are not yourself anymore. Whenever you make decision, you need think about others. I should have studied MBA years ago than now. This is an issue for old age MBA candidates. Single and young fellows won't understand what I am talking about here.

Although I still arrange a trip to Chicago on 2/22 to visit Chicago for interview and Kellogg for possible waitlist, in my heart, I know I might cannot go there even I got admission since it is far from East. But I cannot control my desire. Go for it first and make decision at the end. Although Wharton EMBA didn't make decision until April, in my heart, I wish it does not give to me because I would not find excuse to go to other distant schools for full time MBA. It is much easier to change career with full time MBA. But Wharton is only 20 minutes away from home. My husband does not want me to go anywhere if Wharton give me EMBA admission. He said I will be selfish if I go to other school because we have to send our 2 years son back China again. He will have to take care of two houses and rentals himself. The most important, he thinks long distance is a danger for a family. If I choose Wharton, then I will have to stay in the same company same group with pain, but my son can stay in US with us and I will still have income for family. My parents want me to go to Yale, their reason is so simple, because Yale is well known in Asian. I cannot ignore their ideas too because I love them also and want to make them happy.

It is a confusion for me now untill I can make the final decision. For now, I do not want to think about how to solve this issue.

So be prepared if you are over 30s with family.

Damaged Office situation before MBA

2007-02-08T11:37:00.000-08:00

I would suggest anyone who apply MBA not to tell your boss if you can. I cannot control the damage now in the office for my daily work since everyone in my group knows that I am leaving soon for MBA. Since we are consulting company, everyone's performance+bonus is evaluated by the percentage of billable work. I do not care about the raise anymore and just want to keep the regular daily work till I enroll the school. But my boss and other colleague begin to give me less work since they want to fill their timesheet with high percentage work. Initially, I felt OK because I can have more time to surf internet. But when I saw my billable hours decreasing from 80% to nearly 0% for some week, I have to start to worry how the company will look at me as they review each employee each week. Gosh, I have the other half year to stay and I do not want to be fired, which I thought it might not happen at all. But still, I do not feel relax at all each day.

The other situation in the office is when I do not have more work, the colleague start to talk to me with bad attitude because they thought I am not working hard, which is true, but it is out of my control. I cannot control this damage now. When we argued, my boss spoke for the other colleague and did not respect my feeling at all. Why, because no matter what, he only cares more about his long term employee than me. My feeling is hurt and I have to keep low and silent. I just want to get out this work asap and I do not want Wharton EMBA gave me admission at all. Because if they gave me EMBA, my husband will want me to go to Wharton instead of Yale or somewhere else due to the distance. Then I have to stuck with the same situation for the other two years. What a nightmare! It is difficult to find a the other full time job when you have to take one day off for EMBA, especially I am a career changer.

I cried one night because I was unfairly treated in the office that day.

If you can hold your secret, then hold it unless you do not worry about job at all!

Waitlist by Kellog and Chicago submitted

2007-01-09T10:32:00.000-08:00

I didn't expected to be waitlist from Kellogg. I thought I was dinged because I did not even got invitation from Wharton and Columbia. Sometimes, I just wish all the applications were denied, so I can easily choose one between Yale and CMU. But the top dream isn't dead. I cannot help myself to finish Chicago GSB application for Round 2 and I cannot refuse to click the submit button. I still cannot get over with the top 5 dream or M7 dream. I know it is so vain. But I just cannot help myself. My dream will only die when I see the refusals from all of them.

Before, I even want to apply for Stanford for Round 2. Then after carefully thinking, I dropped it. It is far in the west coast and it is more for young applicants..I do not want to suitcide and donate the other dollars. So I told myself, Chicago, only. Although I already assume it is a dead result, but go ahead and prepare for career from now. Finally clicking submit button this morning, I felt released. I do not need write any essay at all. It is enough. I have applied so many schools in round 1 and almost every schools of M7 except Standford. Game is done. Next thing is just waiting and preparing for entering the class and future career.

I am not sure whether I will pursue to off list from Kellogg. But I will still try. I recently found interest in IM career, but it is so impossible for me, no experience and old age. With family, the work with more than 55 hours/week is too much. But I cannot help to think about it. I have to start to prepare CFA level 1 first and see how the schools decisions come out. Then I will decide where to go. The mostly I need prepare to know what I am going to do after MBA. I think this is the most important thing for me now.

Offers from Yale and CMU

2006-12-21T11:06:00.000-08:00

Dec 20 is a lucky day for me, and I should remember this day, which turn on the B school switch and my new life path with new hope...

Although my target is top 5, this year the competition is so high with surged applicants at each school. I can see a flood of young applicants everywhere. As an old applicant without too much significant title, I still consider Yale and CMU's offers are good without regret. Because as I mentioned earlier, I have tried my best and I won't regret. After applying 8 schools in round 1, I am exhausted and just want to have something for Christmas. And Here they come! The week before Christmas and New Year of 2007.

CMU supposed to release the result on 22, but it is earlier this year. I was dinged by Cornell on 19th and felt so depressed. I cancel my Florida vacation for Christmas as I planed to apply more schools in second round. I thought Cornell is easier for me, but its refusal put me low. I knew it might be because I didn't show too much interest to go to the suburb of mountain. I didn't even stay longer than interview to join the school tour or any information section. That is my fault. It was afternoon 2:20pm yesterday, I checked email and saw the title of excited news from Tepper. My heart is beating. When I opened it, I saw the good news. The first thing I did was to call my husband. He deserved to be the first one to know it. Then I didn't notice there is a letter inside the link. After thrill for a while, I checked the weblink and found out that I was offered $20,000 for each year for two years scholarship. I didn't expect this compared with many young strong applicants. But they did give it to me. Maybe the presentations i sent to them last week made them change their mind. But it is a plus news! My mind is suddenly flushing. I ran to my boss, who wrote the recommendation letter for me to share the good news. I emailed a few friends who concerns for me.

When I was still excited about the CMU, my phone rang with area code of 203. Not sure..picked the phone, a familiar voice...I knew it was yale, the lady who interviewed me. She told me congratulations! I didn't response fast as I still in CMU..and then she asked:" is it a good time to call?" I guess she expected much more excitement from me. I quickly said thanks. I asked if there is some scholarship. She said no. I said it is fine...etc...but it comes so fast. I didn't adjust my feeling yet from CMU..anyway. I am in Yale too...one of 150 admits this year. I noticed that I was the first one to update at admissions411 site. But I am so happy...at that hours between 2-4pm. My dreams come to be true with so much efforts and so much struggling these years..finally come to here this point. Only friends who knows me will know how much these admissions mean to me. It changes my life back to where I was before and I found back myself and confidence, which i have been lost for many years due to an unfortunate event in 1992.

When I got home, my father and my mother welcome me with a big hug, so did my husband. Of cause, my son also hugged me but he won't understand what is Yale at his age of 2. I did send email to every friend who helped me and support me. Although I do not have to go to one of these two schools at the end if I have other better offer. At least, I have something for Christmas and for my dream. Determination works! Hard work pay off! These are all I can say!

Now I have to change my plan for second round. I consider to apply Chicago or one more. But Yale is already good for me due to its school's international reputation. Yale is highly respected in Asia. Although it is not top 10 B School, but I am happy with it. I guess between these two, I have to choose Yale over CMU. Throwing back $40,000 is a little sad...But i got what I want, a recognition and an admission.

I can have a good Christmas and New Year now...good luck to everyone who is still waiting.

Game just begins and a long journey is behind...

2006-12-13T10:41:00.000-08:00

After visiting many schools by now, I had a feeling that except Top 7 schools" Harvard, MIT, Stanford, Wharton, Chicago, Kellogg, Columbia", all the other schools on top 20 list no matter BW or US News are very similar. Really!! I heard that last year, a Chinese student received full scholarship covering tuition from CMU, but he refused and entered Cornell. I really think it was a little ..... from what I see, although the ranking is slightly different, the job placements, locations, reputations, class sizes ...overall, it won't make too much difference. A full tuition scholarship is something plus....i would go to either of them if I got full tuition except Top 7 schools. But this is only my opinion.

WOW, a long wait after interviews. Cornell's R2 result will be out next Monday, CMU will be out on 12/22, and Yale's maybe will be out before Christmas. I wish I could hear some acceptance from either one of it. Top 7 are really TOP...very difficult unless you have obvious significant profiles and age fall within 80% range. for the person like me 34, with similar background of 28 since I started career late in US, I think the hope to top 7 is very small. Now I have tried my best and I think I am satisfied myself for this processing. Although Wharton's EMBA said they would consider my application, still I did not put too much hope though.

oh, one thing to mentioned that I got NYU Stern's EMBA acceptance in 2 days including interview and application submission. I did appreciated NYU's work efficiency. The lady who interviewed me has the same birthday with me. She said " is it a good sign" . Then I knew I was in. But they require $5000 deposit, Wharton EMBA refused to give me early decision since they knew I was refused by the full time program. It does influenced if you apply two programs at the same time. This is an advice only. I am not sure if I will submit that 5000. But I consider full time and EMBA also, as well as MIT's one year Fellows MBA program.

A decision making is difficult too...but I will think about that after the waiting game is finished next year in April. I am not sure if I can submit the deposit to some school and tell them I will not go later? I guess I just lose some money then...

I start to consider whether I should try some schools in Round 2.......I felt exhausted with full time job and a 2 years old at home by these interview, visiting and waiting process...Over 34 yearls is the other challenge to a women, which is the reason that it is easier to get in EMBA than regular MBA because of the small number of woman at this age still try so hard....I cannot complain since I choose this path. But game just begin....a long journey is behind...

Yale and Cornell interviews brief

2006-12-13T10:03:00.000-08:00

Many days after interview, I was still tried from the long driving from the trips to Yale and Cornell on two consecutive days. As interviews are standard in these two schools, I do not want to make too details about it. Just some of my thoughts.

Locations difference: Yale locate 45 minutes from New York city, which is very convenient for recruiting events in New York city. I left Philly at 1oPM after work, and it only took me 3 and half an hour to arrive the hotel nearby Yale. Of cause, no traffic at midnight. I think it takes only about an hour to Boston also. Very good location. About Cornell, I left Yale at 2pm, it took me almost 7 hours to drive to Cornell from Yale, streight driving, no stop only one gas filling. I passed mountain areas, and there are almost no car ahead of me in short distance. I had to speed up to catch someone and follow its lights. It was very tedious driving. After long hours suburb driving, I suddenly entered a small cozy town and hit the downtown Christmas Tree, and felt kind of warm and surprised. All the Ithaca is about Cornell University, many foods and stores and convenient stores. I recommend Super 8 Motel since it is only a few minutes to school, and 2 minutes walk to a Chinese King Buffet, cost only 7 dollar for everything for dinner. It was great for $69/night with free Internet and decent clean room. I specially made one hour early in the morning and assumed that I would arrive on time. I didn't realize that the campus locate on the top of the hill and very difficult to find parking. Do not forget to register with Visitor Parking Booth to pay and get a permit to park. I didn't know this and drive around to waste time. Later, find a 10 minutes parking in front of business school, but the stuff told me that I would get an expensive fine. I was 10 minutes later after parking. They understood though. It was a rainy morning and I saw many students walk from hill to campus. It is a really small university town on the top of hill. I would say the location of Cornell is a little draw back, but it will not influence too much. But if you consider location an important factor, you should consider this.

Interview style: Yale has batch interview style and each one only 30 minutes with very standard questions. Cornell has tougher interview with an Admission committee and a second year student with all the tough questions and expect good answers, which last about one hour. Yale will start the question go through resume, why yale and why MBA. Half an hour is fast and didn't allow too much answers. I think I did well since the admission committee who interviewed me is very familiar with Chinese education systems and traveled to China before. She was aware of many things I mentioned. I felt kind of connected. Cornell is also blind interview. If you ever prepare the application for MIT, then you should no worry about it at all because the questions are just very similar to MIT's application questions. such as "describe a time you lead something, describe a time you are a group player, describe the definition of leadership, and what is the global leadership means. what did you do to solve a complex problems etc..." Since I have prepared MIT's essays, I just used the essay content for the answers and I think they were satisfied by the answers. But you really need prepare for Cornell's interview.

Class visit at Yale: I stayed longer at Yale for Class visit and lunch. The class was a famous Market competitive class with a famous professor. That day, he invited a CEO of Red Cross to the class. It was very interested and students were very involved in giving many recommendations. I didn't see Chinese student in the class. Later I knew only 5 Chinese students enrolled in the class last year. Although Yale ranks not good as Cornell, but Asia students have preference for this school due to its international reputations. I think that is the reason I might also will choose it if I will be admitted. I didn't stay longer at Cornell as I had to drove 5 hours back to the office to work and attend a meeting. I finished interview at 10am and did make to the office at Philly at 3PM. I continued to work as usual since I did not want my boss think I influenced my work due to MBA application. He was surprised I made it back to work. But I was tired... that is why I drafted this now two weeks later after the interviews.

Heard something from MIT

2006-11-15T09:13:00.000-08:00

The other day of nervous waiting for invitation from Wharton. I installed Yahoo messenger on my office PC to track the new emails. I prayed for a few times.

I received an email from MIT's one year MBA admission officer that he said he found an interest in my resume and wanted to talk to me. I met him when I visited the campus and talked a little about my full time application and interest in one year also. I didn't submit my application to one year MBA yet, but I just gave him my detailed resume. I feel excited to hear from him after one week of visiting. At least, he found interest in my resume, which is a good sign. He called me and we scheduled a phone on Friday. I guessed he would evaluate my interest in one year program. For the engineer like me, MIT's name is an legacy. So MIT is my top choice too. I also received an email from MIT full time admission that they start to process the application now and the invitation will start from early December. Although they do not want you to apply two programs, but since by the time I apply one year program, the result of Round 1 for full time is already known. He said it is ok as long as no conflict. But when I checked the tuition, oh my God, the one year tuition is more expensive than two years'. WOW, so expensive. I need figure out if I can get loan for one year program.

The one year program average age is 37, maybe that suit me better. But remember, they do not have career service. You have to find job yourself. But I think with MIT's MBA degree, it should be no much problem to find a good job on my own. I will do more research on this. I didn't see the ranks of MIT's fellowship program since it is new, starting from 2004. But i wish can hear something more about this program.

I started to think about which schools I should apply for second round. As I have applied 9 in first round, I consider half of them are dinged already. I might should consider apply some more Top 10s in second round. I hate this result as it is so time consuming. Please, I rather hear something sooner to end this whole hectic process than waiting and less sleeping. I was so exhausted and stressed. Last night, I could not hold any more and slept from 8PM to this morning 8AM. I was so tired about full time job, full time MBA application, and leading my charity, entertain my in laws and sons. SO so so tired...a good sleep though. I feel more fresh today and resume my confidence to waiting for invitations.

I keep telling myself that No invitation cannot let me down as it is a human processing. I believe it is fair, but there are many factors inside, such as a reader's mood, a reader's preference, and so on. So for those who are still waiting, do not feel down if you do not hear from Wharton. The courage you have to apply Wharton is good enough for you to succeed without Wharton's MBA. Of cause, Wharton's MBA can boost your success, but many people can succeed without it. Thinking this way might make you feel better. At least, I always find way to make me feel better since I have tried my best.

My Wharton EMBA interview

2006-11-14T08:42:00.000-08:00

Since last week I decided to apply EMBA at Wharton, I visited the school on Saturday. The lunch for EMBA was so great! I bet everyone will love it. You really feel difference when you are eating in a nice place with drink and wine service.

I went to a finance class before it started and saw a Chinese student. I asked her if she could talk to me. She was so nice and then skipped the class and grabbed me out of the door. We talked about one hour. She gave me very useful information and encouraged me to apply. I felt so lucky to meet her.

I had interview yesterday on Monday morning. It was rain and the traffic was very bad. Since I went there already, and I knew where is parking, which saved me some time. I arrived on time, maybe a few minutes late. But the receptionist was so nice and said they would understand for such raining day. My interviewer was a very attractive young lady. She led me to the other floor to find a meeting room. She made me very comfortable with a lot of smiles. The interview started from a usual question of going through the resume. I have practiced a whole night on Sunday for this question, so I answered fluently. She looked my resume and marked some places. She stopped me sometimes to clarify the timing in the resume. I figured she wanted to have a good understanding of my career path. Then the next question is what is my short term goal, why Wharton EMBA since she knew I have applied full time already. I am honest to her about the decision. She then asked about my company sponsorship. I also told her about the partial sponsorship from my company. She convinced me that EMBA has the same quality and standards with full time, the only difference is the career service. I am aware of this. She didn't come up any difficult questions at all. Finally, she asked me whether I have some questions. I asked about the semester break and a few other simple questions. Before she ended the talking, I asked her if I can take a few minutes to talk about my charity organization. She said yes. I briefly described why and what I did for this organization and what is the current achievement. She always said great, very good etc., which was very encouraging. I asked how good chance I can get admitted. She looked at my resume and said I have a good GMAT score. She was looking forward to my application. I told her that I EMBA at Wharton is my number 1 choice. And it is true.

I did feel happy about my interview and have feeling for EMBA program since it really has the same quality with full time. As for the career service, which I have my own plan, so I do not really care that much. I wish I will spend more time to prepare essays and get the best application I can. After all, sending out so many application for round 1, I have realized the weakness of my previous preparation. I think finally I really find something I feel for. I feel great about this feeling. I will go to school again to try more classes during the weekend since it is only half an hour away from my home. A big advantage!

About full time round 1, I am still waiting for interview. Many international applicants with similar background received interview, but I am still waiting here for nothing. A little bit discourage. But I am confident about my background and my ability. Maybe I do not have a the best application writing, but it does not mean I am not good. As my husband comforted me that if this time, you do not receive any acceptance, then that means you are not the type of the persons they are looking for to working for others, and then we just open our own company and work for ourselves. he was very encouraging and made me feel better by anxious waiting. Yes, he is right. As I did not have a good GPA during the undergraduate because of an unfortunate thing, and I have some special stories, which many people didn't believe they were true. My husband said maybe the reader thinks I made up these type of stories. Anyway, I did not want to receive nothing this time. But if it happens, I will have to open a new company myself someday.

I try to forget about checking email for invitations by focusing on the new applications. I know God will arrange something for me.

This morning I heard a good news that my company global foundation decides to grant my organization with $8000.00 for the charity programs in China and in the US. I was so excited because I spent a lot of time to draft grant proposal and it works! Since my organization is new, $8000 is a lot of money. Many of the friends and donors are middle level income. It took a year and a lot of efforts to collect about $20,000 donation in cash. So this news is great to me and to all of my officers. We emailed and celebrated this news. If you multiple it by 8 times to Chinese money, it can build a new building for a school. It is a great news for today. I wish good news coming one by one. :)

Spirit for my GMAT preparation

2006-11-09T14:27:00.000-08:00

Sit back, close my eyes, think about the past year what I have been doing to prepare for MBA application, and I feel the time is flying. It has been almost one year since January I started to prepare GMAT exam. All the energy I have now is from the GMAT result and the procedure of my GMAT preparation. It is worth for me to write it down for someone else who has age above 30 to prepare GMAT.

For the person like me with non-English speaking background, GMAT is the most critical thing. And I treat it as the first thing before I apply. Because after leaving school for 10 years, with so so job title in the US because of the complicated immigration procedure, the confidence has to come from the good GMAT score. I didn't even want to try this although it is my dream. But I didn't think I was good enough to get a good score since my TOFEL in 2001 only 500 and my first mock GMAT exam is only 500 also last year. I should say all the thanks to my husband. Without his encouraging, I will never make this move at all in my life.

Briefing myself a little, having been ranked first since elementary school until college and being the leader of the student council since the first year enrolled into the school day, I had a big big dream before college and have been the proud of my hometown. But some unfortunate thing happened on me during the first year of college, which broke my path of excellence and I fell to the lowest point in my life. Since then, I have been struggling to get back to where the normal people were and I never imagine today I could be back on the track and want to apply top B School again. Although I have some excellent high managerial job experiences in China, I never gave up my American dream. So I am here in the US to continue rebuild myself...What I wanted to do back years ago was just wanting to be a normal person and forget about those frustration and spiritual torturing. Forgive me I did not want to mention the sad broken heart story which turned my life around from one extreme to the other extreme. I cannot imagine how I survived from that experience, but I did with my special strength and my life got better and better. But deep in my heart, I still lost and regretted..sometimes, I just sat under the stars and let all the tears down on the face. I kept asked myself "What if that thing never happened, what am I now? and what am I doing differently?" I have no answer for this. I did what the other normal person do such as finding a job in a US company, filling the Green card for US residence, staying with company for long waiting for the approval of immigration. If you ask me, am I happy with what I have now..Yes, I can say that, a husband and a cute body. But deep in my heart, I know I am still lost in my dreams.

Not sure why, but my husband kept push me for GMAT and MBA since we married in 2004. Once you have family, kid and a good job, a few friends and church activities hanging around with normal people, it is hard to pull you out of these suddenly for a totally unknown future. I wasn't confident since my TOFEL was only 597 in 1998 and 500 in 2001. Worse!! paper exam versus computer exam. We argued and fought for my study. I cannot believe why my husband had that strong wish for me to do all these. All the other men like has a wife to stay home. But he is just totally different. I still didn't devote for GMAT until this year January. He left home for angry and dropped a sentence said" I am disappointed in you! Forget about it, I will never ask you about your GMAT again!!" This was crazy words, which stimulated my energy. I then started to plan from 1/15, my 3 months preparation plan with a full time job. He found a job in the other city, left me alone at home. we sent our boy back to China because he wanted me to focus on GMAT last year. I found myself suddenly devoted into GMAT after he threw out the anger to me.

I continued study 4-5 hours per day. The first mock exam, I only got 500. I disappointed, but since I was also angry with what my husband said to me, I decided to last to the exam day. I registered the exam earlier so I had to go for it. The exam was on 4/28. only 3.5 months left. A long pain journey began. Same with other persons, I just use the official guide and did again and again about 4-5 times. sometimes, I studied between my work during lunch hours and I stayed late in the night to 2AM every day. I studied every weekend. My husband didn't even come home at all. At that time, I still had to take care of two houses and 6 tenants, collecting rent etc. And I just also launched a charity organization to help Katrina in 2005. Many things came at the same time. I found myself have high efficiency when I was under high stress. And I did well under such situation. Everything went well. Like my rental business, we have 98% occupied rate during a year. My charity also went well and I received a lot of donations and support from friends and unknown people. And my GMAT started to get better like 650, 680 etc. two months later, my mock exam stayed at 680. I figured this might be my level. I still continued to wait to see if some miracle happened. People said miracle will happen after persistent efforts. I continued for 2 months every day, slept 5 hours, work plus study full day. The motivation was that I put screen saver as my boys pictures. Every morning, when I arrived office, I saw his picture on my pc screen. I missed him badly, he was only one year. But i knew I could not see him until i got a score higher than 700, that was my husband said. Whenever I thought of my boy, my heart was pain, and then I went into my study again. Two weeks before the exam, I suddenly did a mock exam 750. I felt strange. I guess it was because I did too many times. Then I did again one week before exam, still 750. I guess this was what people called miracle. The day before the exam, one tenant didn't pay rent, I was running everywhere to get the rent on time. I didn't rest well. My husband later said if you didn't go for that rent, you should get 750.^_^ ..Anyway, I got 740 (math full score), and I was satisfied. 3 and half month part time preparation started from low score as 500. What did I expected? just above 700. My eyes sights went down 100 degree during these three months. I have been kept the same sights for over 20 years. So you can see how much hard work I put into this. I had to immediately go to my eye doctor to adjust my contact lens, otherwise I cannot see clear.

From this GMAT preparation journey, I found some confidence back and it was a fundamental thing made me think I should try the top school again to see if i can fulfill my childhood dream. If not, then not. I have tried my best.

So anyone has age over 30, so so English background, do not worry, as long as you be persistent and put enough hours, you should get a good score. I wish this can encourage someone else as I was always looking for encouragement myself if I got bad result. This long preparation process need physical and spiritual strength. Don't you agree with me? you should be able to sleep much less to handle all the full time work and other family fairs while still studying. I kept exercise every other day to keep physical health. It works! and I think it is important.

After GMAT exam, I went back to deal with some family stuff and started the essay preparation from July. I am glad that I have my son with me now. Still keep my spirit up. My son is cute. When I asked him to go to bed, he was listening to me and said " mom, go to study". Can you believe he was only 20 months and can understand how important of my study?:) The photos on this page is my boy when he was 6 months old last year. Is he cute?

Columbia and NYU Experience

2006-11-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

I spent a whole day Tuesday in New York. Early morning I arrived Columbia Uris Hall at 10AM. I supposed to be there at 9AM, but I could not wake up because of the tired driving. There was a marketing class at 10:45AM. so I decided to try. It was election day, a holiday day. Not many admission officers in the office. One officer was very nice to pull out of my information on screen and told me that my reviewers have finished my application reviews and my files is being transferred to the admission committee. He asked me if I got invitation for interview. I didn't. I guess Columbia didn't like my story. I still wanted to try the class though, although no any help at all. When I walked into the class before it began, a young lady with a black business suit sat there to distribute the materials. I thought she was a student. But when all the students jumped in the room one minute before the class begins, i realized that she is a professor. She is so young and very good looking. I was very surprised about her knowledge and teaching style for marketing. She played pop music before everyone settling, which is very unique. I was the only prospect student that day. She introduced me and everyone clapped hands. Be preparing for this if you plan to try a class. I guess this is Columbia's tradition.

The class was very exciting. She is very knowledgeable. She talked about a lot of cases in marketing. The students were very involved. Most of students look very young and dress in fashion, which is very different from the style from MIT. MIT students are more serious. Maybe this is New York atmosphere. I like the class, but I had to leave early to catch up the NYU class at 1AM. it will take one and half hour from Columbia to NYU traveling by subway. I felt a little disappointed since I felt my case at Columbia is dead already. Although they said the age does not matter. But I feel it really matter unless you are very successful at this age, which I am just an senior engineer.

I tried not to feel down by this. I arrive in NYU by wrong train, N train does not stop at NYU. So be sure to take R train, local train. It stops at 8 street, several minutes walking to Stern building. unfortunately, the class pushed from 1:15pm to 4:30pm. What should I do? I still wanted to go back to Columbia to see if I can see some admission officers to talk about my case. I know I am born to be a leader since I was little. But everyone needs to be recognized by someone who can see it. As I have complicated background and experience, face to face interview is better way for people to recognize my strength. As I recalled my previous work experience, I got every job on the first job search and first interview. I never got any trouble to find a job. But if they cannot see me, just read my bad English writing. I won't be standing out that much. I said my writing is bad, which is compared with people from English speaking countries. I came from Mainland China. Although I spent so much time to polish my essays, but I didn't get any suggestion from others. Maybe this is the reason I fail. Nothing to be regretted..as i say, I have been myself. nothing to be regretted. But I will still want to try.

I immediately went back to subway and took an hour back to Columbia. I walked in, a young man sat there. He is one of 10 admission committee. He refused to give any information at all, not even pull out of my information. He just said it is too early to say anything for you, and just wait. I felt a little disappointed. It was an election day, he said everyone else left. He was the last one in the office. A bad day, i guess. But I did what I can. Forget about Columbia now.

I then went back took another hour to head back to NYU. I found a restaurant near Stern. The food is Asian and American mixed, very expensive. 11 Dollar for lunch, a bowl of noodle, but only a little. I guess living in NY more expensive. I went back to admission office to wait.

Finally at 4:15pm, a few current students came to get us to the class, a marking class. It was a case study marking class. The General Manager and Marketing Director of New York Mets came to the class for talking and answering the questions. It was very interesting to learn something about sports company's marketing strategy. It was very different from marketing from other industry. I really enjoyed the atmosphere and spirit of NYU. The location is the best. Only a few blocks from Wall Street. Many banks come to the class each day. No other schools can beat this. I also met a Chinese student who was from Tsinghua University in China also. We talked for half an hour. He gave me some information and suggestion about application. He is the current first year student. He said you need prepare to only sleep 4 hours per day for the first semester.

I didn't apply NYU yet since the deadline is 12/1. But I plan to. So this time, I will be careful to draft my essay I guess. This was my day at New York.

MIT visting

2006-11-08T10:10:00.000-08:00

I just got back from my MIT and New York trip last night. I figured I should input this experience before I forgot it.

Since I have applied MIT, Harvard, Kellog, Cornel, Tepper, Columbia, Wharton and Yale for Round 1, I entered a phase of nervous waiting. I decided to visit some schools' classes to get a feeling of each school. It needs a lot of commitment to apply MBA specially for people like me having a full time job. I took two days off Monday and Tuesday this week. I chose to drive, since I want to visit more schools on the way of driving to Boston. I planed to join MIT's ambassador's Monday program, visiting Harvard, and visiting Columbia and NYU on Tuesday. That is the plan.

I left home at noon on Sunday. It was a long straight driving for 7 hours to Cambridge. I only stopped a few minutes for gas. I took the way through George Washington Bridge in New York. It was bad traffic at the afternoon traffic hours. And then there was an accident in Connecticut. That was the reason that took me more hours. But compared with Tepper trip, it was easier to find the Holiday Express Inn. The Holiday Inn was very good. This is the only hotel I found in the Cambridge campus region with the rate less than $100. All the others are so expensive! I like the room and it has wireless Internet, refrigerator and microwave. enough to fit at least 3 people, because there is a king bed and a sleep couch. I drove around to get some food, many restaurants in the area, very convenient. I got a crispy chicken and stayed at the hotel to do some online research about the schools.

I parked my car at a public parking place since I am not familiar with the area. Later I found that there are more parking nearby MIT Sloan. The parking is very expensive in MIT. $20/longer than 2 hours. Since MBA is my biggest investment, I didn't really put this into my account compared with more than $100 K tuition. But remember to drive more around and be there a little early to find a cheaper parking. I arrived 10 minutes early than appointment time, kind of late. The reception for ambassador program was in the lobby of MIT old Sloan building, just in front of the admission office. But there is a door to admission office. No one can get through the door without permission unless there is no one at the reception desk.

The first year students were responsible for this program. A lady from local Boston and a few India students showed us around. I have seen a lot of India students on Campus. A Canadian student Paul is a genius I guess. He is only 24 years old and accepted by all the top school except Kellogg. I guess he was too young. He chose MIT over Harvard because the close network. I can feel that. The classes are holding in the other building next to the old building. The lobby has tables and all the students are resting there. You can see many faces all the time. I chose to enter a traditional finance class. The professor used the traditional lecture method to talk about risk assessment. I didn't feel bored since I am studying CFA myself and know this type of concept. I really feel interest in Finance. But since this is a traditional class, you do not see much involvement. I guess it is fine to get some fundamental education. MIT provided the lunch to us. All the prospect students were sitting in two tables, and with the same ambassadors. I supposed to meet more students to talk, but kind of disappointed. It was fine. Then I asked a few questions how was their application. What they feel about MIT. Since they are first year students and they only start school for a few months, no much to say. But above all, they are very welcome and warm-hearted.

I then walked back into the hallway. I wanted to see someone. Unfortunately, that day, all the full time MBA committees were out for a meeting until later afternoon. I cannot wait. There was no one at the front desk. So I walked in, I told someone I like to talk about one year program. They told me that the person who is in charge just stepped out of the door. I remembered i saw him. So I went out and I saw the same person. I walked to him to introduce myself. We had a good talk. He emphasize that one year program does not provide career service. I think I really do not care, because I never worry about looking for job. in my experience, I always got job before graduation on the first interview no matter in China or in the US so far. So I figure I could get a job myself as long as I can get in MIT. It is a good name, and everyone recognizes it. It is important for me if I want to do business on my own. He asked about a resume. I happened to bring one with me. so I gave to him. He said he look at it and contact me later.

At least, I made some move while visiting MIT. I felt I did what I plan to do. I was satisfied. Since I would drive back to New Jersey to stay with my friend, I had to leave because I did not want to drive in the dark. But Before that, I figured I can drive to Harvard to see the campus again. Harvard B school has a better parking, only $9/day. Same with my expectation, I didn't see many faces. Everyone there wears business suits. (at MIT, few persons wear suits for classes.) It is a big campus with 42 acres. HBS has a separated campus on a river side and a lot of new buildings and gardens. It is a very beautiful campus. But it was very difficult to find a person to talk with. I can feel what the MIT student's comment about why chose MIT over Harvard. But of cause, Harvard has the top reputation. If I got admitted, I will still choose Harvard. Unfortunately, I do not think this is the case for me. I guess my application is dinged by Harvard already.

I didn't stay there long, after information section, I just left. I only stayed about 20 minutes. Good thing at Harvard is that it has the computers which allow guests to access the Internet without user name and password. I quickly checked my emails. At least, I didn't find free accessed PCs at MIT, Columbia and NYU campus.

It was a long day. Since I need drive back to New Jersey, I left at 4pm in the afternoon after leaving Harvard Campus. I felt much committed to MIT and really fell love in the Campus and the Sloan's MBA. I wish my so much efforts will get some positive feed back, at least an interview........just wishes and dreams all the time..........I really wish to come back to Cambridge again. MIT is my dream place since I have engineering background. I felt I fit there better than other places. Now MIT becomes my top choice besides Wharton.

Wharton is still my number choice because it is only 20 minutes from my home. The convenience counts a lot since I do not need rent, and I can take care of my rental business and my home. But I am not very confident about Wharton's application as Harvard's. I do not feel for it. I am not sure why. I just cannot find feeling Maybe it didn't give impressive admission event. There is no way to get in touch face by face with admission committees. And Wharton does not encourage you to contact them for additional materials due to its fair policy, which makes you feel distance from its application process, although it has Student2Student forum. But I still considered to apply EMBA in Wharton since my boss told me that Wharton is a good school and any degree is good from there. I believe so. Although EMBA and Full time MBA have difference, after many years, people will only know you are from Wharton. It makes no difference.

I should forget about MBA for a month

2006-11-02T19:16:00.000-08:00

My mind is full of MBA, status checking and interviewing. I cannot concentrate well in my work. It is too nervous to think about the round one result for now. I have applied 8 schools so far for round one. It is a lot of time. I worried that I might not hear anything at all from these schools since I am too old and I do not have a good job title since the limitation of my engineering group background. What I can do is just to be myself. And let God arranges everything for me. The world is fair at the end. I always believe. It is too early to think the extream case. There is the other one or two months to hear from each school. I decide to get away from it a little bit. I do not expect the invitation as much as I did last week. Just let it be. Really. I will just continue what I am doing now. My husband also did not ask me any more :"did you get some email today?" He will be the first one to know if I hear some good news.

I decided to do something different tonight to relax my mind. How about clean my closet? I have accumulated all the closing for more than 10 years. many of them I even didn't wear, but still hang there in the small closet to occupy the space. I will begin a new life next year with my MBA Journey, i know. In the end, I will end up with some schools. I won't give it up. I will have my plan B ready in December for Round 2 or EMBA. I will go back to school for sure. I have told my boss and then everyone knows it now. I have less work to do. I do not care since I am leaving anyway. I can have more time to prepare my MBA application if I do not have work to do sometimes. It is not too bad at all. I am listening some nice music, throwing a lot of old sweaters and dresses away. I might donate them or ask my parents to bring back to hometown. Maybe some poor kids can still use it. Many dresses are still from China back in 1998 when I left there.

When I clean these dresses, I realized that the styles are different from 10 years ago for me. I have changed my taste a lot within 10 years. When I was young, I like dressed black, matured taste. Then I started to like low cut when I was in Singapore, a tropical place. Everything was more explosive and sexy since I went to Singapore. I like dressed sexy and different with minority trim since I was minority in China. Sometimes, big earring, showing off necklace. After I worked as engineer consultant in US, I started to dress more conservative, simple and solid color. I become like professional outfit. For the outdoor event, I like wear bright color, such as pink, yellow and red since the age is old and do not want to wear black again. From this style change, I can see the life path of myself and my soul experience. It is a recollection if you clean your old stuff once a while.

Thinking about MBA next year, I am excited. I do not care whether I am 34 or 24. As long as I feel myself young, that is enough. I still can do what I want to do. I won't give it up.

I have been blessed by God in many ways these years. And now, I pray for God's blessing again. Back 10 years ago in China, I read bible each day before studying GRE. I quit my job to prepare English. I cannot continue if I didn't find bible made my heart peaceful. Reading bible before studying each day made me more focused. I got a good score in 3 months although I didn't study English for many years. This brought me a full scholarship to US. Now, I need a big change in my life, and I pray God again to guide my soul and make me peaceful to wait for his arrangement as long as I have tried my best. I have faith in God and in myself also.

Night n Night.:)

Am I too old for MBA?

2006-11-02T10:05:00.000-08:00

I am reading businessweek b-school forum and wharton student2student forum. There are many students receiving interviews already. Many of them already got admission from Columbia Early Bird Application. Here I am still waiting to see if my email box can pop up some "Status update" email from school. What a long wait? I rather they just shot me to dead earlier than waiting.

Looking at admissions411.com, there are last year applicants profiles. Among hundreds of applicants online, I only see one 34 years old. Most of them under 30 years old. It seems harder to get in such top school with older ages, although the schools do not admit the age matters. But I do agree Age does matters! When you are old, they will consider your job placement and the possiblity of your future success. I might the oldest female to apply to Top B schools. I really wish the age dose not matter as they said. But I cannot see any luck by now. Should I prepare for the new application for second runs, or wait for a little longer?

Maybe I should apply EMBA. But it is harder for career change without internship. I will decide this in December.

I have sent out application for Cornell yesterday. Wish the one year program can admit me. It seems suit me better.

I cannot do anything just waiting. Keep my finger crossed again! And God Bless me!

Tepper School Interview and Visiting

2006-11-01T14:53:00.000-08:00

I have been back from Tepper School at Carnegie Mellon University for two days already. I didn't get chance to input my interview experience because my son got high fever to 105F. He is better today.

I drove to Tepper on Sunday night. I supposed to leave home at noon and arrive there by 5pm. But I happened to visit shopping mall to return an item, I found a very good big sales in Lord & Talor store, my favourite store. It was amazing that I shopped for 4 hours. I didn't do much shopping for myself this year since the house has tight budget. But I figured I should at least get a decent handbag for interview. It is an investment also. I found a good business suit a week ago, which almost 70% off. And it is nice and suits me well. I decided to wear business suit to be professional. Anyway, because of shopping, I left around 5pm. The map said it will take 4 hours and 44 minutes to get there.

Driving 4 hours straight in the highway is a pain. But I used to long drive already. The road is so curved since Pennsylvania is a mountain area. There is one thing to reminder that there is a long drive without gas station on 76 west. I almost ran out of gas and drove for almost 40 minutes, I didn't see any gas station. When I was panic, the gas station finally came up. I drove fast about 80miles/hour. Finally, I got to the town in 4 hours and 20 minutes. But I lost. The drive direction I got from maprequest is not correct. It was 10pm already, I still hang around to find my motel Day Inn. When I stopped at a tunnel, there is a black guy walking out of the office and came up to me, and he said he can lead me to the motel. Thanks God. I could not find the motel without his help. It is a new city to me. Next time, I won't go shopping again before doing important things. Hi, I cannot change shopping habit since I am traditional female. But next time, I will definitely need leave home early and arrive in the day time for a new city.

It was a good stay alone. I wanted to have a good rest for the interview day. The second morning, I arrived Carnegie 20 minutes before 10:30AM, my interview time. It is a small campus. The admission receptionist Ms Carol is a super nice lady. I was surprised that she arranged everything for me for a day, a free T-shirt, and a free lunch, a class visit and campus tour. I closed my cellphone. Since then, I was so busy to around so tight arrangement. My interviewer is Ms. Lauren, a new officer. I met her in Philadelphia Inside MBA. She is a nice understanding person. I chose her because I felt easy talking with her. I didn't prepare for interview that much since I can remember every piece of information on my resume. I have rewrite it for more than 50 times! I just want to be myself. This is a whole spirit I have for this MBA application process. I know my strength and my weakness. I just want to try my best and be myself. I know I am in old age group, but I think the best thing I can do is to be myself. If the school appreciate my experience and my strength, then I am lucky. If no, I won't feel regretted. Because most of female at my age won't take so much efforts to go back school again and give up a very good stable job in a top ranking global company. Am I realistic? I asked myself. I do not care. It is my dream and it is time I can try. I will just try. So I didn't really make much preparation.

The first question came up is asking me to go through the interview with her. Since I have read many interview experience on line and know what they possible want to know from interview. I tended to explain more in deep about what I did, what is my leadership and what impact I have done. I have many special stories which took up long hours. At the end, since I will join an information section, she said I have all the answers, just told me what other things you do outside your work. I told her my hobbies, and my charity. She wrote down many things on a piece of paper. At the end, she even didn't find place to write. The last question is "what questions you have for me?" I just asked about scholarship since many information is already online. It went one hour and 10 minutes. I figure I have talked too much about my experience. But I guess she took the useful information out of my talking already. Next time, I will time it better with short explanation about what happen to me during my schools and emphasize on the current work. Since she will read my application in the future, although we didn't get too much time to talk about my current work, I think it is fine, I have not much things to talk about in US anyway. It is a regular job for 5 years. routine, I was tied by this company because of green card. so..anyway. it went well and relaxed.

An half an hour information section is just repeating the information i already know. Two Indian students came to lead us for a lunch. There were three visitors including me that day. The young Indian girl said she already got job offer from her intern at the beginning of second year. The other one said he applied 7 schools last year, and received one offer. He was on waiting list of Tepper. But they emphasized that do not lied on your application. The school will assign an international agency to inspect everything you put on your application. That is a little scared. Since some start and end day for old employment might not 100% accurate since I forgot. I figure it is fine, I will need call to find my previous boss before they call then. They also mentioned that never write a recommendation letter yourself, it will put yourself to death. I am not sure how the officers valuate this. But we definitely guided our recommenders about what they should write and what should emphasize. I have given them some key points. anyway. I have submitted my application. I cannot do anything now. just let it go.

Class visit is not very excited. Maybe because it was a first or second class. The professor mentioned a lot about registration and check in etc. Then he started to ask about economic questions about China. I am interested to listen more. But we need leave in one hour. So not much to hear. A campus tour was ok, since the campus is so small. But it is surprised me that Carnegie is an art school. Everyone knows it is famous about computer. But it actually has great art department. We heard a lot of music on the way of visiting.

By the time I finished everything, it is already 4pm. I opened the cellphone, got message about my son was in emergency room with fever of 105 F. I was worrying and driving crazy back home with 100miles/hours. I was lucky that not caught by policemen. My neck was a little stuffed after 5 hours driving. But it was a quick visiting. I didn't forget to send out thanks email to everyone I saw that day. And I received the message back from them the second early morning. I think the admission committee in Tepper School are really paying attention to applicant to recruiting the best ones. Before I felt Tepper is my backup school. But after visiting, I felt it is not bad to just go Tepper since it has the best job placement specially for the person has age like me. Not too bad to have a high pay job after graduate.

I would share more visit to MIT next week. I will leave home on Sunday to MIT, and visit MIT, Harvard, Columbia and NYU in two days next Monday and Tuesday. My boss will be on business trip and presenting my paper for me. I got off since he support my MBA application. I finally make him to accept the fact that I will leave no matter what. But this time, I will definitely leave before the noon. a lot of driving this month.

Still waiting for invitation from Columbia and Wharton. But I am not that nervous now. I figure I just be patient and wait. If I am good, I will have some. if no..that is fine..i will prepare some schools for second runs. then. I have plenty of time to do this as a full time job. ^_^

Waiting for interview makes me nervous!

2006-10-27T11:57:00.000-07:00

Like many other applicants who have submitted application for round one, I am checking my email more than once every hour if I can. Wharton's student 2 student admission blog has a lot of people similar with me, so anxious about invitation of interview. We cannot help to stop check email. Gosh, when can this be over?

I have submitted application for Columbia Early Decision and under review since October 19th. I know it will take at least two weeks to hear something back. But yesterday, when I saw many people in Business week Forum and mentioned that they are already admitted since they submitted earlier than me, I just feel so jealous. But I intended to submit late, because I also apply some other schools like MIT, Wharton and Kellogg, If I hear from Columbia too early, I have to pay $5000 in two weeks to secure the seats. It is not a lot of money, but it is a lot of to me. So I intended to submit two days before the deadline. I wish I can earn sometime if Wharton or MIT are interested in me. Anyway, have to be patient. I keep praying God that I can see an "invitation" in my email box next time I click the refresh button. Am I crazy? Yes, I am.

This morning, the lady from Mckinsey called me back and scheduled an interview near her home on 11/22 morning. I previously thought male interviewer might be better for me, but it turns out I have two female interviewer already by now and it is not too bad at all. She sounds a laid back down to earth people. I should just be myself and talk slow and make myself clear. She asked for the detail version of resume, which I prefer, because so she can know me better before ask me more specific questions. I want to give her a good impression on what I have achieved so far. Anyway, I am busy on the way now. But still cannot wait to see invitation from Columbia and Wharton.

I didn't think I am not that good to apply Wharton and Columbia. Since Wharton is just 20 minutes from home, and Columbia is only one and half hour away, they are kind of convenient for me. My husband kept encouraging me that I know you will get admission from one of them. He kept saying the same thing, which made me start to have some confident myself. But now I didn't hear anything back, kind of disappointed. Maybe need wait for more time??

Although Tepper is not good as Columbia and Wharton, I think it is still good for me since its job placement is very good in wall street. I might want to work in Wall street to earn some money to pay back all the debt I have now. I am burdened with all the debt. Is everyone else same?

Anyway, I got a busy work to do during the weekend. But i need prepare my interview. I kept myself busy like an ant on a hot pot. My boss never leave me relaxed. I will drive to Pistburgh for 5 hours on Sunday and back on Monday night, and he wants me to work on tonight and Saturday. I have to, but it is good, so I can save one day vacation for future use. Hi, never get rest though. My friend from Charity emailed me that a lot of stress is not good for my age. I do not want so much stress, but it is out of my control. I just have too many responsibility, my work, my charity organization, my family, my in-laws living with me and also a two years old little boy, as well as two house and 6 tenants. Sometimes, I just want to forget everything about all of these and diving in the ocean or swimming pool, sitting under sunshine of beach. I wish I can get over soon this application processes.

I know I am nervous, so I am writing here to release myself a little.

I am back to MBA track

2006-10-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

After my first poster, I didn't even can find it back. Then I have been busy with all the preparation for MBA entering in 2007. Starting from GMAT preparation, essay drafting, filling application form, get recommendation letters and submit the application, it has been almost half an year already. Time is so fast. Now I am back. I want to record my MBA preparation Journey. I have visited many others and found a lot of useful information. I figure that I should write mine too. It might be benefit to someone else who start to think about MBA. I also wish I can remeber this experience.

People said applying MBA is time cosuming. It is 100% true. I started early so I decided to catch all the round one from each school I want to apply. Initially, I only apppy Harvard, Columbia, Wharton and MIT. But then I suddenly lost confidence. Since I have told my boss I will leave anyway, I have to get in to some school that is not too bad. So two weeks ago after submitting these key top schools, I decided to apply 5 more schools. It is much easier to just copy and paste to prepare the new schools. The difficult part to prepare essay stories was past. So I just submit the other 3 already this week: Carnege Mellon Tepper School, Yale and Kellog Northwestern University. The whole process is just like the other full time job. Since everyone knows my determination for MBA, I didn't get too much work to do during the day. I spent at least half of a day to prepare and research for my MBA. Since July, it has been more than 3 months full time job. Each day, I spent at least 4 to 5 hours to edit my essay. It was a nightmare. I read my first version of essay at least 50 times. Is it bored. The friend I asked to edit for me also complained about my bad grammer and read the same story again and again. What can I say? This is what supposed to be with my Chinese background, bad writing skills. But I did write every thing myself.

I start to fill my schedule with school visiting and interviews. I feel so busy. This weekend, I will drive to Tepper at Pisburgg for interviewing on Monday. 5 hours one way drive, not too bad at all. Then next weekend, I need drive to Boston to visit MIT and Harvard, althought the chance I can get in is very small. But I always think if I decide to do it, I need put 100% into it, so that later, I won't feel regreted. Luckly, my boss understood all these processing since his sons and daughters all graduated from Harvard, MIT and princeton. He definately has a high brand education family and himself graduated from MIT back to 70s. He doubted my ability and asked me to apply some local school like Drexel and Villinova. I won't go any school ranking lower than 20, that is my determination. I spent so much time and energy on this and even put my family into this, I cannot quit at all. I need more blessing on this since I have almost done my part. I keep praying for the admission or an interview from Wharton.

Waiting period is nervous too. I kept check my email box every other hour. I checked Wharton S2S student admission blog, many of them are crazy too and cannot wait for a interview. I wish I can get one at least passing the half of ratio.

I have to prepare for interview for Tepper this weekend. Never ending!

Am I too aggressive?

2006-03-28T09:19:00.000-08:00

Finally find a place I can express myself. I always wonder that a lady like my age, a little over 30, still want to go back to school, want to change the career path. Am I too aggressive? Because many friends think this way. They think I should just keep the current job and enjoy being a wife. I have to work full time during the day, and then I go home study till midnight since I want to apply for MBA this Fall. I hardly have time for myself. It is good that my husband working in the other city. I am not bothered by him. Otherwise, he will complain I ignore him also. But MBA is my dream. Changing the major is one of my dream since I graduated from college as engineer. I do not think I want to be an engineer. But my father made me be an engineer. Everyday working with demanding men boss and demanding men college. I want to stand off and not being treated as entry level. I tried hard. Still I feel very stressful and they didn't take my opinion as professional. I feel so disappointed. That is why I want to take full time MBA degree and totally change my career. Otherwise, I won't be happy at all.

My GMAT English test will be 4/28, the coming month. I tried to ignore everything and focus on this study every night. Many friends already think I am disappear. But I told myself, only one month left. I need get it done well if I will try one more time to fullfill my career dream. I was sick yesterday because of bad headache. I think I push myself too hard sometimes. I wish my dream can become to be true and also it will change my reality too.