I am going for MBA with pregnancy

It has been a long time that I didn't have time to come to my blogger. I like to clear a few things before I start a new page. A few months ago, I did decide not to go to interview for Chicago. But at the last minute, my best friend criticized me and pushed me to at least just give it a try. I did go to interview for Chicago and met a good friend there. Of cause, I didn't get accepted. I appreciated the trip to the University of Chicago, where I did see a modern school of MBA and a lot of difference than other schools I have visited.

What has happened during these months since my last post? You cannot believe me. I got pregnant accidentally just when I decided to go to Yale MBA and dropped the CMU $40,000 Scholarship. I already told my boss I will leave this year. I was not ready for this sudden pregnancy. What should I do? Should I go for it or defer one year? I contacted school and friends, talked to existing YALE SOM students, posted on BusinessWeek for suggestion. My family were strongly against me to go this year as well as all the others except my best friend, the one who persuaded me to interview at University of Chicago. I did request the deferring, and it was approved. But then my best friend accused me again. We are similar type. At the end, she successfully persuaded me to go for this year with pregnancy due to my worse office situation. I did feel that I rather try harder to get through the roughest first term than endure office suffering. Now here I am, one of the class of 2009 at Yale SOM. I am not sure whether I can make it, but I have to make it, and no other choice.

I want to thanks all the people whoever give me suggestions and help through online. I know some students did give birth before the school start, or have baby at the second year. But I didn't hear any case that a student had baby in the middle of the first term, the most intensive term during full time MBA among top 20 schools. Maybe there is someone there I do not know. But I tell myself that you have to make it work. And here we go.

I have started the enrollment process a few weeks ago. Luckily my parents will come to help me in October before my due day. My husband will not be able to move up with me due to his work, but it is fine. I have locked a two bedroom apartment in Yale Campus and started to pack my things and baby stuff. I think I will still work until the week before the school starts. I am facing a huge financial debt for this MBA, but I wish it is worth for my future. I keep pray God to bless me and my new baby. I also pray for all the new students who will enroll this year, and for the one who will try next year.

God bless us.

A decision of Withdrawal from Kellogg and Chicago

After a long talk and thinking, I decided to cancel the trip to Chicago for on-campus interview and visiting Kellogg for my waitlist. The reason is simple. I do not want to take any risk to break my family due to long distance issue. At the same time of pursing my own dream, I will also need consider the family members and compromise at certain level. Without family's support, I cannot be here today.

By the way, top school is just an entrance for a new future. Future still depends on individual's efforts. I will have no regret to withdraw my possible chance from Kellogg and Chicago GSB if I can keep family a complete peace. For me, Yale might be good enough to lead me to that door for my situation (3.5 hours driving is not too bad). Still a lot of hard work is behind, but I will be happy to go there and begin my MBA journey if I do not hear anything from MIT and Wharton.

After cancel the trip, I felt much released. Now I know less choices are better.

A confusion for old age with multiple choices

Two months ago, I was anxious about not hearing any admission until Yale and CMU coming on the same day of 12/20/2006. After happiness for a few weeks, I fell into a confusion of school choices. After drop NYU's acceptance, still hold on Kellogg waitlist, Wharton EMBA's decision, and Chicago R2 invitation, the school choice becomes a hot topic in my house, which even caused argument between me and my family.

Newton said "I can predict science, but I cannot predict human's crazy", I just read this sentence today on a stock article and like to use here. I can predict the acceptance of schools, but I cannot predict different emotion from my family, my husband, my in-laws and my parents and siblings. They all have different ideas about where I should go. Those conflicts are spouse's responsibility, long distance relationship, child care issue, Asian family's proud and my career vision. I cannot ignore any of them and be myself. After you are married, you are not yourself anymore. Whenever you make decision, you need think about others. I should have studied MBA years ago than now. This is an issue for old age MBA candidates. Single and young fellows won't understand what I am talking about here.

Although I still arrange a trip to Chicago on 2/22 to visit Chicago for interview and Kellogg for possible waitlist, in my heart, I know I might cannot go there even I got admission since it is far from East. But I cannot control my desire. Go for it first and make decision at the end. Although Wharton EMBA didn't make decision until April, in my heart, I wish it does not give to me because I would not find excuse to go to other distant schools for full time MBA. It is much easier to change career with full time MBA. But Wharton is only 20 minutes away from home. My husband does not want me to go anywhere if Wharton give me EMBA admission. He said I will be selfish if I go to other school because we have to send our 2 years son back China again. He will have to take care of two houses and rentals himself. The most important, he thinks long distance is a danger for a family. If I choose Wharton, then I will have to stay in the same company same group with pain, but my son can stay in US with us and I will still have income for family. My parents want me to go to Yale, their reason is so simple, because Yale is well known in Asian. I cannot ignore their ideas too because I love them also and want to make them happy.

It is a confusion for me now untill I can make the final decision. For now, I do not want to think about how to solve this issue.

So be prepared if you are over 30s with family.

Damaged Office situation before MBA

I would suggest anyone who apply MBA not to tell your boss if you can. I cannot control the damage now in the office for my daily work since everyone in my group knows that I am leaving soon for MBA. Since we are consulting company, everyone's performance+bonus is evaluated by the percentage of billable work. I do not care about the raise anymore and just want to keep the regular daily work till I enroll the school. But my boss and other colleague begin to give me less work since they want to fill their timesheet with high percentage work. Initially, I felt OK because I can have more time to surf internet. But when I saw my billable hours decreasing from 80% to nearly 0% for some week, I have to start to worry how the company will look at me as they review each employee each week. Gosh, I have the other half year to stay and I do not want to be fired, which I thought it might not happen at all. But still, I do not feel relax at all each day.

The other situation in the office is when I do not have more work, the colleague start to talk to me with bad attitude because they thought I am not working hard, which is true, but it is out of my control. I cannot control this damage now. When we argued, my boss spoke for the other colleague and did not respect my feeling at all. Why, because no matter what, he only cares more about his long term employee than me. My feeling is hurt and I have to keep low and silent. I just want to get out this work asap and I do not want Wharton EMBA gave me admission at all. Because if they gave me EMBA, my husband will want me to go to Wharton instead of Yale or somewhere else due to the distance. Then I have to stuck with the same situation for the other two years. What a nightmare! It is difficult to find a the other full time job when you have to take one day off for EMBA, especially I am a career changer.

I cried one night because I was unfairly treated in the office that day.

If you can hold your secret, then hold it unless you do not worry about job at all!

Waitlist by Kellog and Chicago submitted

I didn't expected to be waitlist from Kellogg. I thought I was dinged because I did not even got invitation from Wharton and Columbia. Sometimes, I just wish all the applications were denied, so I can easily choose one between Yale and CMU. But the top dream isn't dead. I cannot help myself to finish Chicago GSB application for Round 2 and I cannot refuse to click the submit button. I still cannot get over with the top 5 dream or M7 dream. I know it is so vain. But I just cannot help myself. My dream will only die when I see the refusals from all of them.

Before, I even want to apply for Stanford for Round 2. Then after carefully thinking, I dropped it. It is far in the west coast and it is more for young applicants..I do not want to suitcide and donate the other dollars. So I told myself, Chicago, only. Although I already assume it is a dead result, but go ahead and prepare for career from now. Finally clicking submit button this morning, I felt released. I do not need write any essay at all. It is enough. I have applied so many schools in round 1 and almost every schools of M7 except Standford. Game is done. Next thing is just waiting and preparing for entering the class and future career.

I am not sure whether I will pursue to off list from Kellogg. But I will still try. I recently found interest in IM career, but it is so impossible for me, no experience and old age. With family, the work with more than 55 hours/week is too much. But I cannot help to think about it. I have to start to prepare CFA level 1 first and see how the schools decisions come out. Then I will decide where to go. The mostly I need prepare to know what I am going to do after MBA. I think this is the most important thing for me now.