I should forget about MBA for a month

My mind is full of MBA, status checking and interviewing. I cannot concentrate well in my work. It is too nervous to think about the round one result for now. I have applied 8 schools so far for round one. It is a lot of time. I worried that I might not hear anything at all from these schools since I am too old and I do not have a good job title since the limitation of my engineering group background. What I can do is just to be myself. And let God arranges everything for me. The world is fair at the end. I always believe. It is too early to think the extream case. There is the other one or two months to hear from each school. I decide to get away from it a little bit. I do not expect the invitation as much as I did last week. Just let it be. Really. I will just continue what I am doing now. My husband also did not ask me any more :"did you get some email today?" He will be the first one to know if I hear some good news.

I decided to do something different tonight to relax my mind. How about clean my closet? I have accumulated all the closing for more than 10 years. many of them I even didn't wear, but still hang there in the small closet to occupy the space. I will begin a new life next year with my MBA Journey, i know. In the end, I will end up with some schools. I won't give it up. I will have my plan B ready in December for Round 2 or EMBA. I will go back to school for sure. I have told my boss and then everyone knows it now. I have less work to do. I do not care since I am leaving anyway. I can have more time to prepare my MBA application if I do not have work to do sometimes. It is not too bad at all. I am listening some nice music, throwing a lot of old sweaters and dresses away. I might donate them or ask my parents to bring back to hometown. Maybe some poor kids can still use it. Many dresses are still from China back in 1998 when I left there.

When I clean these dresses, I realized that the styles are different from 10 years ago for me. I have changed my taste a lot within 10 years. When I was young, I like dressed black, matured taste. Then I started to like low cut when I was in Singapore, a tropical place. Everything was more explosive and sexy since I went to Singapore. I like dressed sexy and different with minority trim since I was minority in China. Sometimes, big earring, showing off necklace. After I worked as engineer consultant in US, I started to dress more conservative, simple and solid color. I become like professional outfit. For the outdoor event, I like wear bright color, such as pink, yellow and red since the age is old and do not want to wear black again. From this style change, I can see the life path of myself and my soul experience. It is a recollection if you clean your old stuff once a while.

Thinking about MBA next year, I am excited. I do not care whether I am 34 or 24. As long as I feel myself young, that is enough. I still can do what I want to do. I won't give it up.

I have been blessed by God in many ways these years. And now, I pray for God's blessing again. Back 10 years ago in China, I read bible each day before studying GRE. I quit my job to prepare English. I cannot continue if I didn't find bible made my heart peaceful. Reading bible before studying each day made me more focused. I got a good score in 3 months although I didn't study English for many years. This brought me a full scholarship to US. Now, I need a big change in my life, and I pray God again to guide my soul and make me peaceful to wait for his arrangement as long as I have tried my best. I have faith in God and in myself also.

Night n Night.:)